Recently, self-care, self-love, and self-awareness are all terms we wouldn’t be surprised to see beside a hashtag or in content created by vloggers, entrepreneurs, coaches, or your colleague’s LinkedIn. We may assume that the idea of self-care is easily embraced by many, and the activity, capability, and process of self-care is what requires attention and discussion. However, before action can be taken, the assumption that everyone is willing to experience self-care must be faced. Self-care begins with choosing for yourself if you will allow it in your life. It may be emotive to allow yourself self-care and I will tell you why.
Self-care is liberating yourself from suffering and allowing yourself joy.
All human experience is cultivated internally. When suffering is no longer feared there can be joy. From a base of joy, growth can begin – inclusive of self-care. Let’s break this process down further…
As an example, for those of us who have high expectations of ourselves and our lives, we may adopt a ‘work and then play’ attitude and approach. Work will not stop. If you constantly expect high-quality results from yourself, there will always be better and you can always do better. If there is at least some reality in this, then play will never come.
Similarly, suffering can be found in any situation. Even in our environment, we see erosion and decomposition. When we realize that suffering is a permanent and ongoing reality that we cannot escape from, joy feels like an illusion that is out of reach. Now what a dark cloud that is (insert umbrella emoji).
With this unfortunate recognition, we may choose to sit in the reality of it. We might accept suffering’s existence and not want to be made a fool, or risk disappointment by extending efforts to the illusion of joy, which holds hopes of growth and self-care. Yes, suffering exists and is innate, but seeking is also intrinsic to our humanity.
This is the turning point where people make the choice of whether or not they will allow themselves self-care.
We have the choice to invest in seeking growth and to leave behind the already established state of suffering. There is nothing efficient in continuing to try and prove what is already known. We can contently dwell in things as they are and seek joy through extinguishing the concept that all suffering needs to be at the forefront of our minds at all times.
By accepting joy into your life, there can now be growth. Your mind and body will be their best when they can work in a pleasant state. How well you are able to harness your body and mind to move towards growth will determine the level of activity, capability and process of self-care that can be undertaken.
Acknowledge your personal suffering and any suffering that causes discontent. However, suffering will not disappear no matter how much time you invest in it, and joy can only be to your benefit when you allow yourself its illusion. Work will always be there, so allow yourself play (and not always in this regimented order; sometimes play can take priority). Each of us are worthy of ‘play,’ joy, and growing into self-care. Invest in the illusion of joy. Although it is not a permanent state, it is an enjoyable temporary investment that results in lasting growth and development such as self-care.
Chelsea Robin is a contributing writer for Nomade & Mode. A Nomade herself, Chelsea is originally from Calgary, Canada and is now based in London, England where she recently earned her Masters in Clinical Psychology.
Great post Chelsea! I am one expert at delaying play, and have been paying more attention at creating joy in the journey, thanks for helping raise more awareness to it!